As I Lay Dying
by HouseOfDelena
Summary: This is a one-shot on Elena's thoughts on Damon dying in 2x22 what does she think of the situation? why does she forgive him? whats running through her head? (this is just what i thought she'd be thinking) Delena obviously!


**So as you can see from the crappy summery this is an Elena's thoughts on Damon dying from a werewolf bite in 2x22  
****i know this is a little late since its currently on season 5 but i've had this incompleted fanfic on my computer for some time and i did post it once on my old fanfiction account, megansalvatoreox but i deleted it so i decided to re-write some parts and then re-post on here**

**so please enjoy**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing, i repeat NOTHING!**

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chapter 1: As I lay dying

I sit by Damon's bedside, waiting for his inevitable death to slowly take him away from this world, just like it had with Rose. I unconsciously wince at the thought of that horrible death happening to Damon, even after everything he's done I can't wish that death on anyone and he doesn't deserve this, not even a little. "Elena, get out of here. I could hurt you." Damon whispers, knowing the effects the werewolf bite would have on him.

"No, you won't." I argue, not caring that what he says is true; he could hurt me but I trust him and I just know he wouldn't hurt me. "I'm here until the very end, I'm not leaving you."

"Get...out." Damon gasps at the overwhelming pain radiating through his body causing him to scream in pain. Not knowing what to do, really but having to do something; I quickly jump to his aid, trying to ease his pain as best I can but it isn't enough. He was going to go through worse pain till the very last moment.

"It's okay, it's okay" I reassuringly lie, dabbing his forehead with a damp cloth, in attempt to sooth him.

"It's not okay, it's not okay" he mutters, his voice tinged with guilt and regret. "All those years I've blamed Stefan, but no one forced me to love her. It was my choice."

"Shhh" I soothe, knowing it was not the right time to start regretting things, it was no time to bring up the past. He would be fine, i kept telling myself. We'll survive this, we always survive, I keep repeating to myself.

"I made the wrong choice." Damon confesses, "Tell Stefan I'm sorry, okay?"

"You tell him yourself." Elena mutters after a minute. "Because you are going to be fine. You'll get through this."

"This is even more pitiful than I thought." Damon mutters.

"There's still hope, Damon." I say trying to convince him as much as I was trying to convince myself. He would be fine and they'd be laughing about this tomorrow. Stefan would walk through the door any minute with the cure in hand and save the day. He has to. i just have to cling to that hope, that Damon will live to see another day, that he'll get to stay around and screw up some more and leave a huge mess for everybody to clean up just because he's Damon. That he'll go on to annoy his brother for many years after this; i just have to hope. For his sake, for Stefan's sake and even for mine.

"I've made a lot of choices that have gotten me here, I deserve this. I deserve to die." Damon admits. He will never get to fix things between him and Stefan and make up for all the death he has caused; worst of all he will never get to show how sorry he was for all the bad things he had put me through from just being a first class dick to killing my brother and i know he regrets all those things he's done to me and i should forgive him, no i do forgive him, after all i can't deny him the one thing i can give him whilst he lays on his death bed. All he has to do is give me his most sincere apology and I'll forgive him right there, just like that because that's what i do i forgive people, i see the good in them and i forgive them; i forgive him.

"No" I say, breaking him away from his thoughts. "You don't." It was so like me to try and see the good in people but no matter what I say he still won't believe me, he truly thinks he deserves this.

"I do, Elena. It's okay because if I'd of chosen differently I wouldn't have met you." Damon reassures her with a pained smile crossing his lips, not the pain from his current condition but the emotional pain that's caused by knowing he'll have no more time to spend with those he loves, no more time to spend with me. It's funny how I can see all this so clearly now, how much he really cares because he's not guarding his emotions anymore.

I can see it is getting harder and harder for him to talk; his strength was depleting by the minute. He could go at any minute and that scares me, knowing that i may be the only one here for him when he dies.

"I'm sorry; I've done so many things to hurt you." He needs my forgiveness and not because he believed he deserved it, but in this moment that is what he needs and that is what he wants, that is his dying wish. For my forgiveness and i see no reason not to give him that, after all i already forgave him, he just needs to know.

"It's okay." I reassure him that it doesn't matter anymore. "I forgive you." And with those three simple words it seems a wait was lifted, like most of the weight he had been carrying was gone, like he no longer needed to make up for what he's done, although you can see that he still wants to do anything to make things better and nothing will make that go away but now the feeling is less urgent.

"I know you love Stefan and it will always be Stefan, but you have to know that, I love you. I have for so long." Damon finally confesses, getting it off of his chest; no reason to hide his feelings anymore. If he is going to die he wanted me to know how he felt and i know with all my heart that he means it, it isn't some final shot at pissing of his brother in attempt to win me over but that he truly loves me.

"I do." I reply, I have known for some time now but it is nice to hear it, just to confirm my thoughts. I can see, part of Damon had hoped I would return those three beautiful words that could change his world and part of me wishes I could say them, but I'm not ready, I may care for him but I have no idea if it goes as far as love.

"You should have met me in 1864, you would have liked me." Damon tells me, smiling a little to himself.

"I like you now, just the way you are." I reply and it is true i do like him now, I don't want to change him, sure who he is now is far from perfect but he's him and that's the only thing i want him to be. And with that said I look up from my place, where my head lays on his chest, looking at him with teary eyes before kissing him, right on the lips, it wouldn't look like anything special to someone else, just a small brush of the lips but i could tell it meant the world to Damon. Just as my lips brush his there is a little shock like we share a connection with each other, i felt like we were two pieces of a puzzle, meant to fit together.

"Thank you." Damon breathes out. That one simple touch of the lips was amazing, the shock as our lips touched, the rushing warmth that filled me with such a simple gesture.

"You're welcome" I whisper, whilst trying to sort my thoughts out and the jumbled feelings they are causing. That kiss was amazing; I have never had a kiss like that before, just imagine what a real kiss between us would be like, I think before quickly shaking that thought from my head. No you can't think like that you're with Stefan, remember him the love of your life, Stefan. Everything is so screwed up –

"You know it's me you should be thanking, I'm the one who brought the cure." An unforgettable voice sounds from the door, yeah hard to forget when you practically have the same voice, I think. I stand up, creating a noticeable distance between me and Damon, now feeling a little guilty and uncomfortable with Katherine here. She walks in getting closer to the bed, a corked bottle in one hand. "I thought you were dead"

"I was" I reply shortly, not liking that she could just waltz in here now that I had died, kind of. Then Damon's weak voice sounds from his place on the bed interrupting my thoughts of annoyance.

"You got free." He states, not really asking a question.

"Yep" Katherine answers anyway. "Finally" she pours the blood like substance from the corked bottle, the cure for the bite, into his mouth.

"And you still came here" Damon states again.

"I owed you one" She replies, putting the cork back in the bottle. That's when I decide to make myself known again.

"Where's Stefan?" I demand.

"Are you sure you care?" Katherine replies, smirking and for a minute I actually think about it but why wouldn't i care? then again if I had just seen Katherine kiss Damon and then asked where Stefan was I would have said the same. At that thought I feel a slight bit of jealousy over come me. What was wrong with me, why would I be jealous by that thought and over Damon as well? I quickly push that thought away, not really wanting to deal with it now.

"Where is he?" I demand again, getting angry at Katherine for making me think such things and not just simply answering my question.

"He's paying for this." Katherine gives a vague answer, holding up the cure. "He gave himself over to Klaus. I wouldn't expect him anytime soon"

"What do you mean he gave himself over?" I am getting really worried now. What if Klaus is hurting him or worse?

"He just sacrificed everything to save his brother. Including you, good thing you have Damon to keep you company" Katherine is really getting on my nerves and the worst thing is she knew exactly what to say to wind me up. "Goodbye, Elena" she heads back the way she came but stopping before heading out the door, turning to look at me. "Oh, it's okay to love them both, I did." she shrugs and with that she is gone.

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A few hours after later-

Katherine had left a while ago after giving Damon the cure and he is already looking better, he claims he feels fine but I'm still wary to believe he could be okay after what he just went through, plus, he's still looking really tired and he must have be because he does as I ask and stays in bed. Just before he passes out from exhaustion, I speak; we haven't spoken really since the kiss, only a few short demands from me about him staying in bed.

"You don't mind if I crash here do you? I'm too tired to go home and I don't feel right leaving you on your own" I ask. Damon seems happy that I care enough to actually stay with him but soon he hides his feelings again, just like he always does. I want to keep an eye on Damon sure but part of me also wants to see if Stefan comes home, but I'm dumb to think that, if he gave himself over to Klaus there is little chance of him ever returning, he could be dead for all I know

"No I don't mind" Damon answers quickly like he thinks i'll change my mind and leave him all alone. He will never admit it but i know he doesn't want to be alone at the moment.

"Thanks" I say as i turn on my heels and head to Stefan's room.

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**So what do you think worthy of a review? maybe just a little one, please?**

**I was thinking of actually turning this one-shot into a story but i decided against it, too many of those stories to compete with already and mine probably wouldn't live up to expectations.**

**If you want me to write more fanfics please PM me or you could tweet me of twitter HouseOfDelena **


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